The Soap Opera: "Pakistan Cricket"

The soap opera that is Pakistan Cricket will continue its season as scheduled. After the excruciating break from regular transmission of the last few months, when everyone was left puzzled with questions such as "why we are winning?" and "why is everyone getting along?". The actors and directors have decided to return to enthral the world audience with the usual shenanigans.

Let's start with our favourite cricketer, Shahid Afridi. Returning to Pakistan after the West Indies ODI series. Afridi, knowing the laws of the cricket board do not apply to him, openly accused Waqar Younis of interfering in team selection matters. Waqar may be considered as one of the greatest fast bowlers. He may have led Pakistan as a captain and knows how to read a coaching manual or two. Little does Waqar know, that his job begins and ends with conducting fielding drills, doling bowling tips and mixing energy drinks. How dare he step on Afridi's toes?! Unfortunately, Afridi has now announced his retirement from all forms of international cricket. Afridi's energy and his charisma will be missed by everyone including Waqar Younas. However, I hope this is not another one of Afridi's hasty decisions that he regrets later. I still see an outside chance of Afridi returning to the team in the future.

Our Pakistani audience is such that they are easily deceived by Afridi's flamboyance. Forgiving his horrible shot selections, and of late, his lip. As long as he gels his hair right and smiles for the camera, we will continue fawning over his charisma and style of play. Spare a thought for Waqar though, he was handed a team in disarray, with no real bowling sting nor any decent batting prowess. Fielding was the only consistent aspect of our game; consistently below par that is. Since Waqar's arrival he has turned them into an intricate motor unit capable of anything. From topping Group A of the World Cup, to being toppled by a weak West Indies team. On some days our fielding looks top class and on others we'll drop six catches in a span of 20 overs. Yes sir, the definition of "mercurial" has a PCB logo next to it.

What of Mr Ijaz Butt? If there was ever a time in Pakistan to allow for geriatric chairmen, debutantes and captains to make their mark. It is now. 72 year young Butt proclaims age brings wisdom in ways unimaginable. In a lucid dream, Ijaz Butt saw a Khan leading the Pakistan team to World Cup glory in Australia. Undecided if it was a divine prophecy or re runs of 1992 World Cup on tv, he decided to go with his wisdom and expel Afridi from his job. Making Misbah the new captain was easy. If one can still run a cricket board at 72, there is no excuse for Misbah (turning 37 this month) to not play the next World Cup or two. So what? Ijaz Butt will argue, Imran was 39 when he won the World Cup in Australia.

Danish Kaneria meanwhile is at his wits end trying to understand what an NOC means. Ijaz Butt should just clarify what he really wants Kaneria to get from his ex county team, Essex, is a life size poster of Pippa Middleton from the Royal Wedding. Get me one too Dany boy!

The Karachi City Cricket Association secretary, Ijaz Faruqi, was last seen sobbing fervently at a presser. He is unhappy, as usual, over national team selection matters. He pleaded the case of wicket keeper Sarfraz Ahmed being deliberately ignored.

"So what if Muhammad Salman, the current keeper, is from Karachi? We should be the first team to play two specialist wicket keepers in every game so long as they are from Karachi!"

Also on the list of players Mr Ijaz thinks are being deliberately ignored, Mohammad Sami & Khurram Manzoor. Need I say more?

Why are the words "Sub Ijaz ek jesay hote hain" ringing in my ears?

Speaking of wicket keepers, Zulqarnain Haider has returned from his brief asylum in England. Apparently all it took was Minister Rehman Malik's assurance of security for Zulqi and his family. Zulqi was last seen playing catch with himself and contemplating which was the worst of his decisions: to throw away your budding international cricket career or accepting security assurance from an Interior Minister who thinks PNS Mehran attackers were characters from Star Wars.

Everyone's favourite scapegoat, Shoaib Akhtar, will be sorely missed after announcing retirement from international cricket. He says it's time to grow up as he has turned 35 now. Though, he will be playing in the newly formed Sri Lankan T20 League. My intel suggest he plans to play the first few of games before tweaking a ligament in his knee while taking an afternoon nap. What would you know about the stresses on a fast bowlers knee, especially when he has to break it down on the dance floor every night?

The tainted trio of Asif, Butt and Amir will begin fighting their legal case in London this month as well. While Salman Butt has decided to skip the preliminary hearings, Asif left for London like a man on a mission, but before anyone could find him in the arrivals lounge, it turned out he had already boarded a connecting flight to Amsterdam. "I need to ease my mind, legally, before I get into any long drawn legal battle" was his last message to my sources. For the high's Asif gave us with his bowling abilities, I wish him and the other's all the best.

Stay tuned for the show is just starting!

The 'Fixed' Price of Cricket World Cup 2011

Modern cricket has been tainted with controversy of match/spot fixing and corruption scandals. But despite the drama, the sheer volume of viewers tuning in and fan interest has only increased.

When this month’s issue of Sports Illustrated (SI) India hits stands, it will trigger much debate, deliberation and a wave of “I told you so” comments among followers of cricket all over the world. The cover story “Dirt in Cricket” deciphers 400 minutes of conversations between SI journalists, bookies and politicians in India.

The story was shared with Yahoo Sports, a few days before it is to appear in SI, and promises to carry fascinating revelations and startling claims. However SI, for legal purposes, has not revealed any names of the players or officials involved. Nonetheless, the considerable amount of evidence and investigative journalism that connects the dots is hard to dismiss without raising an eye brow or two.

Pakistan vs India semi final

Sceptics still cast doubts over the semi-final clash that took place in Mohali. A conversation in SI’s possession reveals that Shahid Afridi, much to our delight, refuses to cooperate with bookies. Unfortunately, it also claims that four Pakistani players were paid to underperform in the Mohali clash. Another conversation between an Indian politician from Delhi and an SI journalist reveals the startling amount of cash that exchanged hands during the World Cup 2011. While betting on cricket matches is illegal in India, the politicians over there seem exempt.

Here is an excerpt of one conversation:

Voice: Arre, us match ka patha chala aapko?

Sports Illustrated India: Kis match ka?

Voice: India-Pakistan ka. Humein ek message aaya tha, Bihar ke ek politician ka. Kaha, ‘Sir, yehi sahi time hai paisa lagane ka. Ab nahin lagayenge to kab lagayenge? Rs200 crore pahuncha diya hai.’

SI India: Achcha, kaun sa politician tha?

Voice: Ek hai, Bihar mein.

I had to re-read the part where he says “Rs200 crore.” Is it any surprise then, that the top brass of Pakistan’s ruling party booked tickets to India well in time for the big clash? The match achieved little in terms of diplomacy, but those who have plundered mercilessly were all there sitting alongside their Indian counter parts. What they were really up to is open to interpretations.

Indian involvement

In another conversation, a bookie explains an incident involving two players from the Indian team. The bookie alleges that a player from the Indian squad returned cash because a BCCI official found out about the shady deal. The official, allegedly, stepped into the dressing room and told the players not to do anything suspicious and so the players returned the cash given to them by the bookies. In an attempt to further substantiate the claim, SI state that another BCCI official revealed that one of the two involved players was warned privately and told that he is being “watched carefully” during IPL 2 in South Africa.

An incident from the World Cup that comes to my mind was observed during India vs Netherland group match in Delhi. A renowned bookie, Pradeep Agarwal, is seen hanging out in the Indian team dressing room and chatting away with players. The same Agarwal was fired in 2008 by IPL for his involvement in match fixing. IPL itself may just be one of the largest markets for gambling. SI goes into the abode of IPL and the mishandling of different issues related to corruption.

Other teams

In another scenario, there were journalists and media folks still eating their fruit loops for breakfast when the bookies delivered the news that Chris Gayle would not be playing the India vs West Indies match. The news was confirmed many hours later – a discomforting testament that bookies have access to places where even the most enthusiastic followers of the great game can’t go. It will be a sad day when we have to receive inside scoops from bookies rather than sports journalists. Recently, ex-Sri Lankan cricketer Hashan Tillakaratne came forward alleging that match fixing has “spread like cancer” and he is ready to share information regarding involved players and fixed matches with the ICC.

In the past, highly respected players from Australia and South Africa have also been accused and charged with corruption. It appears no one is innocent. Somewhere, an 18-year-old Mohammed Amir must be lamenting why the only part of the cancer that was removed was his brief but exciting career.

As a diehard fan of cricket, this is a disappointing day for me. Sports Illustrated is not a micky-mouse tabloid magazine; their work is credited as top drawer and their journalists are highly respected. SI is ready to share all its findings with the ICC. So the big question now is, will ICC do something about this, or will it try to sweep it under the rug?

This blog was written for Express Tribune Blogs

A Parallel Search

The loneliness of the night,
Often articulates in ways less understood,

Asking questions only fathomed,

In the hush of the night,

In the hours of solitude,

Forbidding the waking eyes and asking repeatedly,
"What is it that you seek, Said?
These books have been written and read,
Many before you have come and bled,
Like the rest, you are a passenger at best,
Travelling a safe road designed by someone else,
And still you seek more?
What is it that you seek, Said?
What is it that you seek, Said?"

A moment of reflection and a voice pierces,
A moment of perfection & a choice steers,

Intertwined like destiny and fate,
The knowledge I seek is all but innate,

The freedom I seek is but a cruel secret,

Kept from me by the the prison in my mind,

The truth I relentlessly pursue is hidden behind these dark veils,

A fantasy too real or a visceral fallacy too frail,

This loneliness and this night,

are but conspiring felons at my door,

Accomplices in life that force me to believe,

That my search is an inexorable plea,

The will of my mind is a weapon of choice,

For it will create a map of its own design,

Scaling the mountains of gratitude and Searching the sea's of tribute,

For a destination left untouched by those far and few,

From where the first beam of the rising sun,
Will run the most startling silver lining,

Singing birds rejuvenating and dancing flowers celebrating,
Waiting to greet the passenger of the night collectively,

Tiring now from his arduous journey,

Searching endlessly for his elusive sanctuary

-Said Chaudhry